you wake me up in the middle of the night one more time i swear to god i will start practicing crash cymbals in our room at 4 in the afternoon
(not like i’m trying to get ready for dress rehearsal or write a paper or anything. i am not doing this in the dark.)
“Do you wish sometimes,” I say, “that you could just disappear like that city?”
“I can,” Leo says. “I do. What I wish more is that when I wanted to I could stay.”
The ferry docks again in front of us and we sit quietly until the whistles are finished and the boat has once again taken off.
“Are you ever afraid,” I say to Leo, “that there are so many things you need swirling around inside you that they will just overtake you, smother you, suffocate you till you die?”
“I don’t think so,” Leo says.
“I don’t mean sex,” I say, “or even love exactly, just all that want that won’t let go of you, that even if you changed everything right now it’s too late already to ever be full?”"